On Living Dancing More Working Less and Other Last Thoughts From the Dying Kerry Egan 9780241297278 Books
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As a hospice chaplain, Kerry Egan didn't offer sermons or prayers, unless they were requested; in fact, she found, the dying rarely want to talk about God, at least not overtly. Instead, she discovered she'd been granted an invaluable chance to witness firsthand what she calls the "spiritual work of dying"-the work of finding or making meaning of one's life, the experiences it contained and the people who have touched it. Instead of talking, she mainly listened to stories of hope and regret, shame and pride, mystery and revelation and secrets held too long. Most of all, though, she listened as her patients talked about love.
This isn't a book about dying - it's a book about living. Each of Egan's patients taught her something; in this moving and beautiful book, she imparts their poignant and profound lessons.
On Living Dancing More Working Less and Other Last Thoughts From the Dying Kerry Egan 9780241297278 Books
Kerry Egan’s ON LIVING is exactly what the title says, a memoir about how to live. While she is a chaplain and works with people who are typically in hospice care and leaving this world, in this magnificent book, she shares incredibly moving stories from patients who made an impression on her, whose words prompted her to talk about, not how you can die gracefully, but how you can live meaningfully.This is a book for everyone. Whether you have lost someone important to you or not, this book explains the virtues of not waiting for that last breath you are going to take and telling those you love what you wanted to say when you should have said it, not trying to say you’re sorry to someone whose health is failing when it is too late, and learning the power of forgiveness, which Egan says to do second, “while there is still time to do the actual work that’s involved in seeking and granting forgiveness and arriving at some reconciliation.”
The stories that she shares are vastly different as are the people with whom she spent time with. Egan also opens up about a very difficult time that she went through, which allowed her to see things from another perspective, not just as the chaplain providing comfort but wishing that she had someone to console her, understand what she had gone through.
An important message that Egan is trying to convey is that dying people are just like us, “they just happen to be doing something we’ve never done. To die is a verb, like to jump, to eat, or to laugh. It’s something people do, not who they are.”
ON LIVING is comforting, it is a shining light, it is the grandparent’s words that you heard when you were too young to appreciate them, it is the sage whispers that remind you, this is how I want to live.
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Tags : On Living: Dancing More, Working Less and Other Last Thoughts From the Dying [Kerry Egan] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. As a hospice chaplain, Kerry Egan didn't offer sermons or prayers, unless they were requested; in fact, she found,Kerry Egan,On Living: Dancing More, Working Less and Other Last Thoughts From the Dying,Penguin UK,0241297273,Biography & Autobiography Personal Memoirs,Self-Help Death, Grief, Bereavement
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On Living Dancing More Working Less and Other Last Thoughts From the Dying Kerry Egan 9780241297278 Books Reviews
Amazing book! I highly recommend this book and absolutely love it. I like reading, but i even more highly recommend the audiobook, which will make this incredible story even richer, because the author actually reads the book herself! Some times when authors read their own books it doesn't work out so well, but with this author, it turns a 10 out of 10 book into a 15 out of 10 book. In the audiobook you can hear the joy and pain in her voice. I love this book and have read it many times, but if you can buy the audiobook book on 's sister company, the author will read the book to you, which gives deeper meaning to the words through her voice.
As the title indicates, this book is about living, and it is about life's lessons, given to us by those that are at the end of their lives. A very thought provoking book.
I'm 81, soon to be 82, in relatively good health; nonetheless, "I'm quietly preparing to die." I don't mean that in any morbid, or fear-ridden sense. I love life I fill my days with my many hobbies, friends, and family. (Also the occasional High School or Ship's reunion.) And yet my world grows smaller. Fortunately, it's shrinking pace is slow in these remaining moments.
I have two friends, a father and his son. We've been friends for more the fifty years. The son was seven-years-old when our friendship began. His father is dying of mesothelioma. Each of them are dealing with impending death in their own, unique way. I sent them each a copy of Ms. Egan's book. The son shared it with his wife, both thanked me profusely. I wasn't surprised that's "they're way". I've heard nothing from my older friend. I'm not surprised "that's his way".
I love to tell stories. A fond memory recalls my telling Uncle Remus stories to a gaggle of younger children in the neighborhood--I was ten years old--complete with mimic voices. I've never lost that love. I've sailed the northern half of all the major seas and oceans, (poked my bow across the equator a couple of times) been around the world twice. Now I tell my own stories. My one great fear is not having an audience when I die. I guess that's true for most of us. Ms. Egan make that case beautifully, with humility, compassion and understanding.
On Living is Kerry Egan’s recounting of stories told to her by hospice patients during her years as a chaplain. I found it readable and engaging in relating the wisdom and healing Ms Egan found from listening to what people with little time left had to say. Their stories are sometimes heart-rending, sometimes tragic, sometimes funny, but never morbid. While it will make the open-minded reader think about confronting death, this book, as the title indicates, is really about confronting life.
Ms Egan is unflinchingly honest in relating the experiences of her patients and of her work trying to help them. She shows us people struggling to cope with incapacity and life’s impending end. She also shows us her brush with psychosis that prompted her hospice work. These dark passages are balanced, however, with commentary informed by her Harvard Divinity School education and the enlightenment she takes from her patients’ tales. Indeed, her knack for squeezing meaning from experience infused her first book, Fumbling (her story of hiking the 500 mile Camino de Santiago in northern Spain), and kept me reading this one.
Though it concerns dying, On Living does not dwell on death. It shows those who are dying as carrying on, as well as they can, to their last day. Many take comfort from religion, but some don’t. Very often, their concerns are mostly for those they will leave behind. Where they are different from people not in a hospice, Ms Egan tells us, is that they know their time is short. So all they do and say takes on an urgency that we should mark.
Ms Egan’s chapters are essays on themes relating to the experiences of one or more patients. She tells the dying person’s story and relates it to her own life. Very often, she makes a quick identification with a patient’s views. For instance, when one impressed upon her that since life is all shades of gray, we shouldn’t get hung up on rules. Following that maxim led to her being reprimanded for bending her job’s rules. While some might judge her unfavorably for such an episode, I see in it an intellectual honesty and empathy that must make her a great chaplain. It certainly makes her a compelling writer.
There are also in this book (as in Fumbling) paranormal highlights. I think they enhance the subject matter. They are described in her incidents with the “medicine woman” and with her “guardian angel.” Such passages are powerful because they come from someone not given to supernatural themes. They don’t detract from her central purpose but rather support it and emphasize life’s wonder. Such wonder is, perhaps, more readily seen when dealing with distress, such as dying.
Ms Egan says
"There’s nothing stopping you from acting with the same urgency the dying feel."
Feeling that urgency is, I think, this book’s central message. Such feeling creeps upon us as we grow older, if we’re honest with ourselves. We can dread it or let it spur us to a greater appreciation of life. This theme leavens the stories and central narrative of On Living and makes it a worthy resource for inspiration and personal growth.
There is a continuum in Ms Egan’s two books. From Fumbling to On Living, we see the maturation of the young Camino pilgrim into the experienced, enlightened, hospice chaplain. Even so, the young seeker is still there, searching out the truth of life in her daily pilgrimage with a desire to share her insights with the world.
I highly recommend On Living as an inspirational and thoughtful read. Don’t let the hospice stories aspect put you off. The book’s title accurately describes its theme; this is not a funeral dirge. I do suggest, though, that you read Fumbling as well, so as to appreciate Ms Egan’s personal evolution.
The stories in this book remind us that we’re all facing certain death. You can take that as morbid, or let it prompt you to act with an urgency for life.
Kerry Egan’s ON LIVING is exactly what the title says, a memoir about how to live. While she is a chaplain and works with people who are typically in hospice care and leaving this world, in this magnificent book, she shares incredibly moving stories from patients who made an impression on her, whose words prompted her to talk about, not how you can die gracefully, but how you can live meaningfully.
This is a book for everyone. Whether you have lost someone important to you or not, this book explains the virtues of not waiting for that last breath you are going to take and telling those you love what you wanted to say when you should have said it, not trying to say you’re sorry to someone whose health is failing when it is too late, and learning the power of forgiveness, which Egan says to do second, “while there is still time to do the actual work that’s involved in seeking and granting forgiveness and arriving at some reconciliation.”
The stories that she shares are vastly different as are the people with whom she spent time with. Egan also opens up about a very difficult time that she went through, which allowed her to see things from another perspective, not just as the chaplain providing comfort but wishing that she had someone to console her, understand what she had gone through.
An important message that Egan is trying to convey is that dying people are just like us, “they just happen to be doing something we’ve never done. To die is a verb, like to jump, to eat, or to laugh. It’s something people do, not who they are.”
ON LIVING is comforting, it is a shining light, it is the grandparent’s words that you heard when you were too young to appreciate them, it is the sage whispers that remind you, this is how I want to live.
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